first three questions i'd ask cabinet nominees if i were on obama's transition team

1. Have you ever employed any undocumented workers at your home?
2. How much money do you owe to the IRS?
3. Are you being investigated by a grand jury?

Sheesh.

Pop Covers

Of books, no less!

There are some hilarious analyses of old paperback cover art over at Pop Sensation--

Thank god Death was her last lover - that makes a much better title than "Herb the Copier Salesman from Wichita is the Last Lover"

Also, ever want to pretend you're GW? Nah, me neither.

Newest Rulings on Alternative Source Citing

Our friends at the PostModern Language Association have created a guide for citing some alternative information sources:

http://www.pmla.org/altsource.html

It's a Craptastic Life

I think I might have to watch past the 15 minute mark of It's a Wonderful Life* after reading this:

I am a long time reader and have been enjoying your "Questionable Moments from 'It's a Wonderful Life'" series, as this beloved Christmas movie has some problems.
But this segment seems now to be over, and I am wondering how it is you missed the most hilarious moment in that movie, where we discover what happened to Mary?
Towards the end of George's lesson, when he's realizing how truly awful everything would be if he'd never been born, he has a horrible thought. Mary! What's happened to Mary?! He demands to know from Clarence, who doesn't want to tell him. "You're-you're not going to like it George!"

And the suspense is killing us. What could have happened? I mean, we've already seen the entire town go to hell. His brother is dead, so are all the people his brother saved in WWII. The pharmacist he worked for is a criminal and a drunk, and Clarence doesn't want to say what happened to Mary? Why? Is she dead? A destitute alcoholic? Married to a horrible abusive man?

But no! It is a fate much worse than all of those put together! Because George was never born, Mary never married! She-she became a librarian! The horror!!!

*screams and faints*

And that, that is the most questionable moment from "It's a Wonderful Life."

(from the Sheldon Blog)




*This is actually a total lie. I'll watch all 24 hours of A Christmas Story on TBS, but I will not stoop so low as to watch any of this crapfest. Bah Humbug, Clarence.

srsly.

Yes, I am posting a site called Fuck You Penguin to my blog in the middle of a workday. At work. If this doesn't get me fired by Christmas, I don't know what will.

Blogger Beware: The Goosebumps Blog

I think most of us were a little too old for the Goosebumps craze, but this blog is still funny even if you've never read one*:

http://www.bloggerbeware.com/

The author is re-reading all the Goosebumps books and reviewing each one. He keeps track of recurring themes like platonic boy/girl friendships, lack of minority characters, questionable behavior by parents and teachers, werewolf appearances (it's always werewolves!), suspicious scientists, '90s cultural references (one parent worries if her son has become "a grunge"), and gives away each of R.L. Stine's famous twist endings. He also makes a lot of musical jokes, which I always enjoy. Anyone else who can identify the Leonard Cohen reference in the Scream School entry gets to be my new best friend. :)

This retrospective post is a good introduction to the blog, with the author providing a top 10 best/worst Goosebumps books.


*I actually have read one. My younger sister loved these books, and I know I did read one of her's that was about a boy and girl who went to a horror amusement park that turned out to be run by...Aaahh!!! REAL MONSTERS! But judging from the blog there were actually several different Goosebumps books with exactly this premise, including an entire spin-off series, so I don't know which one it was.

My library has lost its virginity

I am now working in a brand-new library. Before we opened in August, there were some jokes among the staff about how long it would take before we caught students having sex in one of the study rooms.

The answer turned out to be "a little more than two months".

There may well have been students having sex before that, but this was the first couple to be naked on the floor when the night manager was doing her pre-closing sweep of the building.

Our admin assistant said she wished she'd been there, because she could have explained to the young couple that it is not strictly necessary to remove all of your clothing before having sex, and that if one is about to get busy in a semi-public space then it's wise to remain as clothed as you can.

I am not sorry that I wasn't there, but if I had been then I at least would have been ready with the horrible pun I prepared back during the summer:

"Alright kids, break it up, this ain't the Library of CONGRESS!"

It never hurts to be ready with a horrible pun.