Here. Take it.

This is funny. That's all. I'm too hot to say something clever or humorous. *sweat sweat sweat*

Westgate Summer Oscar Series

Only upon my second reading of the Isthmus today did I notice the ad for Westgate Theater's Summer Oscar Series.

Every Sunday at 4:30 for the next month they're showing a different 2005-2006 Oscar-winning film. Tickets are only $2.50, and you get a free little bag of popcorn with admission.

This sounds like a great deal to me, and I think we should all take advantage of this opportunity to enjoy fine cinema at bargain prices. Let's make Sundays the Official Librarian Movie Day!

Here's the schedule for all the movies in August:

8/6 - Munich

8/13 - Capote

8/20 - Brokeback Mountain

8/27 - Crash

It's 8:45 in the morning and I already need a drink.

I'm assuming we're still all on for happy hour tonight but since we had a location change last week, where will the comradery (and more importantly the drinking) be taking place? Do we want to revert back to the Flatiron or someplace in the capitol vacinity? Or are we going back to Mickey's? Or should we go for something closer to campus, as Lia suggested. Thoughts? Opinions? Rants?

If my cat looked like a certain despised dictator, I don't know if I'd announce it to the world

Everytime my sweet little kitty cat lunges at my ankles with fangs bared, I think to myself "Is she trying to take over the world one bare heel at a time?" Then I reassure myself that I haven't seen the telltale signs...

Watch Your PSAs!

**WARNING!! Mature Content Which Might Offend Sensitive Viewers! If you are sensitive plese find your information else where...like PBS!**

Just because you perform PSAs for the people doesn't mean PBS won't fire your A**! I warn you to be careful! Even promoting good moral values gets you in trouble these days. I ask you, "Is PBS wrong?" In the words of MTV, "We report you decide."

DIY Weapons

At the next arts & crafts night we're all going to make one of these!

(Has this been posted to Le Blog already? I'm having a bit of tampon deja vu, but I figured it was fantastic enough for round 2.)

Let's Get Us Some Good Radio

This message is from Matt, who requested that I send this to the hot and happening library crowd. I decided that posting this to the blog would be more efficient than email (its original format). Cheers, Lia

Greetings Fellow Dairylanders,

I'm writing to encourage you to take action--not for some political cause or human-rights campaign, but for much more selfish reasons. I would like each and every one of you to have a look at what our good friends in Minnesota have done with their public radio. 89.3 FM, The Current, is perhaps the finest radio station I've ever heard anywhere (except maybe Triple J in Australia...). It is public, commerical free, and plays an amazing array of eclectic music that puts standard formatted commercial radio to absolute shame.

I encourage you to do three things--

a) First, go to this link and click the "Listen" link found on the far right hand column under the heading "The Current." The Windows 64K link will play on Windows Media Player.

b) Now that you have undoubtedly a good tune rockin' and your toes are tapping, sample the playlist. I encourage you to check other days and see what a wide variety of music these people play. It is nothing short of ridiculous. If the song you are listening to isn't to your liking, wait for the next one--it will be totally different.

c) TAKE ACTION!! I already wrote an email to Wisconsin Public Radio telling them to get their act together and give us our version of "The Current" or something like it. The final link is to the feedback page of WPR. It only takes a second to let them know what you think, and since it really is our radio station (being public, and all) I think we should at least give them an earful. Scroll down to the bottom of the page and write a quick comment in the boxes provided.

d) Forward this to anyone in Wisco who digs on good tunes. No bad karma if you don't--this ain't no chain letter...

Thank you, dear friend, for reading my email. Wouldn't it be something if radio was actually used as a medium to bring new and exciting ideas and music to people rather than 'good times and great oldies' in every city of this nation? If nothing else, maybe you just gained a new radio station to stream when you are online.

Ain't to proud to beg,

Matt

HOFF: The Musical

Hasselhoff To Star In Musical Based On His Life

i'm not a fly, not yet a woman

Little Fly,
Thy summer's play
My thoughtless hand
Has brushed away

Am not I
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?

-William Blake

In some ways, people are a lot like insects. We all hunger for the same things. Food, shelter, companionship, a place to lay eggs that will turn into maggots. Like people, insects all have their own rhythm to life. I'm mesmerized by flies. Their tiny wings, their green eyes, their constant quest for survival. They almost have a sense of desperation about them. They fly around you and make it difficult to ignore them. They make you wonder what is behind their incessant buzzing. A sense of annoyance comes over you in their presence. The pain that horseflies give you is stunning. Behold the beauty of the fly.

Tigerz!

Old news by now, but here's a link to Britney's musings on Tigers that we discussed in the woods on Friday night. She's so deep, man.

There's Shampoo For That

Since the issue came up last night while discussing appropriate pick-up techinques and problems associated with strangers--stranger danger--I thought these sites might provide some more information. If you experience any symptoms please consult your doctor.

Keith's Canadian Search for Shampoo
http://www.ece.mcgill.ca/~bleuant/kith/crab.html

University of Iowa
http://obgyn.uihc.uiowa.edu/Patinfo/STD/crabs.htm

Ohio State University Extension Fact Sheet
http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/2000/2094.html

The Crab Master
http://www.bootsnall.com/articles/01-09/behold-the-crab-master-broome-western-australia-australia.html

The Really Jealous Jimmy Crab
http://www.authorsden.com/categories/story_top.asp?catid=51&id=11623

2 + 2 = drunk!

I figured it out, kids!

The conundrum: our esteemed president (the leader of the free world, if you will) has exhibited some bizarre behavior as of late. His antics include cursing, inappropriate touching, threatening guys who are shorter than him, ignoring current events and, perhaps most suspiciously, flying a port-a-pottie to Europe so foreign agents can't examine his bodily waste. Weird, no?

The process: I've been thinking about our commander-in-chief clowning around The Continent; I've watched the videos on YouTube; I thought back to all of the field research we did at The City last winter. And I employed some of my mad librarying, critical thinking skillz.

The conclusion: I got it! Dubya is back on the sauce! He's drunk as a monkey! The POTUS Kool-aid is spiked! It's just like watching undergrads drink too many MGDs and then act like jerks. The only (majorly major) difference is that G.W. has nuclear weapons.

Beautiful...elegant...modest

Inspired by Deb's post on swimwear, I decided to see if there were any sites offering formalwear for decent, God-fearing women.

Want to walk down the aisle without looking like a skank? Go to the prom without making your parents ashamed? Just check out any of the sites devoted to "modest" formalwear!

Here's a small sampling:

Modest By Design, bringing you "Modesty in Motion"

Totally Modest, for prom gowns that are, like, TOTALLY modest!

Beautifully Modest, for the lady who is "Modest by Choice"

Some of the gowns are actually pretty nice, although others...are not. However, it seems to be a universal truth that all modest gown websites are poorly designed. Sheesh people, hire a real web designer!

Bush gropes German Chancellor

Our president just can't keep his hands to himself. Even at the G8 summit.

Chancellor Merkel does not look happy.

Say what you will about Clinton and his behavior towards women, but at least he managed to get through his term without ever, say, slapping Sheikh Hasina on the ass.

Segway polo... need I say more?

Check out this crazy video of Steve Wozniak playing Segway polo. It's listed as one of the "worst technologies of 2006" in an MSN article. Check out the others as well (I like the commentary about #6)!

Zidane inspires the world

I think it could be a good therapy within the SLIS program. Visualize doing so next time you are in class and someone makes you angry.

Deborah, You're the Inspiration

As a follow-up to Deborah's fashion-forward post about the proper swim attire, I bring you The Duggar Family. You may have heard of them: they have 16 children (maybe 17... I've lost track), they hail from Arkansas and the father, Jim Bob (I kid you not) wants to be a Republican senator (just what we need.)


How does this relate to the flattering fashion of WholesomeWear? It's listed as one of their "favorite websites"--can't you just see a whole big troop of Duggars racing to the beach in their culotte swimwear?

I hope you all enjoy exploring the creepy website as much as I did. "From Michelle to Moms" really touched me--maybe if I pray really hard I'll be able to find a piano teacher to help me with my laundry....

"highlight the face, not the body"

Finally, a full coverage swimming suit from WholesomeWear! Now I have something to wear when I'm trying to beat the heat on the beach. That's right, it may look like an ugly dress, but it's really a swimming suit! Check out the online catalog for other "flattering" styles.

Advance Notice

I hereby declare that next week's (July 20) Thursday happy hour will take place at Mickey's Tavern- 1524 Williamson St, on the delightful backyard patio, around 8PM. This is a hooch only type of establishment, so unless you want to have a bag of potato chips for dinner you should consume food in advance. You have a week to figure out the bus route and/or polish up your bicycle and practice drunkenly riding home. Don't forget your helmets.

Camping alternative

Hey, I don't know if people are still thinking of getting together the weekend of the 22nd but I will be house sitting my parents place which has a very rustic (no running water) cabin on the land that we could "camp" in. There's a bonfire pit, 6 beds, plenty of space for tents, and there's all the normal amenities just down the hill. I thought we could rent some scary movies too if we wanted to. There are no camp rangers to come sush us since the neighbors are a mile away and it's FREE!!! All we need is food and booze. Any takers?

The Very Model of a Modern-Day Librarian

How many times has this Gilbert & Sullivan song been parodied? But this version's about librarians, so it's different.

He's baaaaaack!

It's been a while since we've heard from our main man...

The Hoff

everybody poops

From the Wayne Madsen Report:

[July 4, 2006 -- Even Bush's crap is classified top secret. According to our Austrian sources, Austrian newspapers are currently abuzz with special security details of George W. Bush's recent trip to Vienna. Although the heavy-handed Gestapo-like security measures meted out to Viennese home owners, business proprietors, and pedestrians by US Secret Service agents and local police before and during Bush's visit received widespread Austrian media attention, it was White House "toilet security" ("TOILSEC"), which has Austrians talking the most. The White House flew in a special portable toilet to Vienna for Bush's personal use during his visit. The Bush White House is so concerned about Bush's security, the veil of secrecy extends over the president's bodily excretions. The special port-a-john captured Bush's feces and urine and flew the waste material back to the United States in the event some enterprising foreign intelligence agency conducted a sewage pipe operation designed to trap and examine Bush's waste material. One can only wonder why the White House is taking such extraordinary security measures for the presidential poop.

In the past, similar operations were conducted against foreign leaders to determine their medical condition. However, these intelligence operations were directed against dictators in countries where even the medical conditions of the top political leaders were considered "state secrets." The Israeli Mossad conducted one such operation against Syrian President Hafez Assad when he visited Amman, Jordan in Feb. 1999 for the funeral of King Hussein. The Mossad and its Jordanian counterpart installed a special toilet in Assad's hotel room that led not to a pipe but to a specimen canister. Assad suffered from diabetes and cancer and the operation was designed to discover the actual medical condition of the ailing leader. During Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev's visit to Washington in 1987, the CIA reportedly placed a special trap under a sewage tank to collect the Soviet leader's bodily waste for analysis. More recently, the CIA was reported to have collected waste samples from Ugandan President-dictator Yoweri Museveni's toilet when he visited Washington.

Even Bush's toilet paper was flown in from the U.S. Air Base at Ramstein, Germany. In addition, Bush's food was flown in from the United States and tested with special chemicals before he ate it. Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu, who was shot by a firing squad in 1989, was the last major European leader to constantly use a food tester. The last frequent state visitor to Vienna, who always relied on a food tester, was Adolf Hitler.]

Just in case anyone's having a bad day....

This will cure any case of the grumpies. Seriously, there's even "hamster sushi" (in a good way!) about halfway down the "Pocket Pets" page.

And for the guys: "Cats 'n' Racks™"

God this sounds dirty. But it's not, I swear!

What's wrong with our beautiful blog?

I'm only getting the two most recent posts on my screen, and the sidebar with links and our names isn't showing up at all. It's been like this from school and home, so it's not just my computer being weird.

What have you done to us, Blogger?

she's crafty, she's just my type, she's crafty

Heya knitters, the nytimes has an article on DIY, crafts and alternative careers. Sounds like a good "plan b" if the MLS doesn't work out! Perhaps I should join the next craft night and learn some real-world skillz...

Are you a rebel or a yankee?

Test your regional vocabulary.

I'm only 10% Dixie. Which means I am "as dandy a Yankee as they get!!"

Camping II

Are we still interested in camping on the 22nd of July? I checked the availability of campsights for Saturday July 22nd and it looks like there are openings at Big Foot, Blue Mound, Yellowstone and Buckhorn with regular sized campsites. If we have more than six or eight people we will need to get a group site and Yellowstone has those open on the night of the 22nd. This is the DNR's website if you want to check out the parks for yourself and get back to me.

Random band name generator

Just click the button and get a band name! My favorite so far is "Grim Postal Dance".

Not sure why it only generates three-word names, though. How many bands really have three-word names? Seems to me that most of the rock greats had two word names.