My library has lost its virginity

I am now working in a brand-new library. Before we opened in August, there were some jokes among the staff about how long it would take before we caught students having sex in one of the study rooms.

The answer turned out to be "a little more than two months".

There may well have been students having sex before that, but this was the first couple to be naked on the floor when the night manager was doing her pre-closing sweep of the building.

Our admin assistant said she wished she'd been there, because she could have explained to the young couple that it is not strictly necessary to remove all of your clothing before having sex, and that if one is about to get busy in a semi-public space then it's wise to remain as clothed as you can.

I am not sorry that I wasn't there, but if I had been then I at least would have been ready with the horrible pun I prepared back during the summer:

"Alright kids, break it up, this ain't the Library of CONGRESS!"

It never hurts to be ready with a horrible pun.

Can we get porn here?

That's what a student asked me today!

She was checking out some DVDs, and she said "Hey, is it true we can get porn here?"

I honestly misheard this as "popcorn", and thought she was asking about the free movie nights on campus where free popcorn is indeed served. But I didn't know why she'd be asking the librarian about that (although I was fielding all kinds of non-library questions today, the first day of class), so I said "I'm sorry, can you get what?"

"Porn. I mean, not for me, someone just said we can get like some French porn movies from the library."

"Uh, not that I know of...I mean, we do have some French movies, and we've got R-rated movies, but I don't think we have any actual porn."

"Oh, okay. Well, that's just what I heard."

I just barely managed to keep myself from saying "No, that's why we have INTERNET, silly!"