Money for Nothin' (And Your Books For Free)

I'd like you all to imagine that this song is being performed by a somewhat bitter cardiac nurse. (She should also be crudely animated using 1980s style CGI, as per the link.) This wasn't my original plan for the song, I just needed a good rhyme for "refrigerator" and the next thing I knew the lyrics were from the perspective of a health care professional. But it seemed to make sense, as nursing is another "pink collar" occupation whose membership might well feel that librarians have it easy.

Money for Nothin' (And Your Books For Free)

(I love my library...)

Now look at them bitches,
That's the way you do it,
You push the book cart in the library.
That ain't workin',
That's the way you do it,
Money for nothin',
And your books for free.
Now that ain't workin',
That's the way you do it,
Lemme tell ya, them gals ain't dumb.
Maybe get a blister on your shushin' finger,
Maybe lose a pencil in your bun.

We got to install cardiac pacers.
Medication deliveries.
We got to move these defibrillators,
We got to move these central IVs.

See the little spinster with the glasses and no makeup,
Oh baby, does her own hair.
That little spinster got her own Ford Taurus,
That little spinster, hasn't got a care.

We got to install cardiac pacers.
Medication deliveries.
We got to move these defibrillators,
We got to move these central IVs.

I shoulda learned to do the book talk,
I shoulda learned to catalog.
Look at that shelver,
She got books on tape and DVDs, man!
She must have some fun.
And she's up there, what's that? Digital records?
She's bangin' on the keyboard like a chimpanzee.
Oh, that ain't workin',
That's the way you do it,
Get your money for nothin',
And your books for free.

We got to install cardiac pacers.
Medication deliveries.
We got to move these defibrillators,
We got to move these central IVs.

Listen here!
Now that ain't workin',
That's the way you do it,
You push the book cart in the library.
That ain't workin',
That's the way you do it,
Money for nothin',
And your books for free.
Money for nothin',
And your books for free.
Get your money for nothin',
And your books for free.
Look at that, look at that!
Get your money for nothin',
(I love my, I love my...)
And your books for free.
(I love my library.)
Get your money for nothin'...