SLIS Procrastination Blog: Bad Analogies in High School Essays

Saturday, February 18, 2006

This circulated through emails a few years ago, but it still makes me laugh. To wit:

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."
(Unknown)

Leah said...: Love it! Especially:

"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."; February 18, 2006 9:57 PM
Lia said...: I don't know... these are up there too:
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free
(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
(Jennifer Hart, Arlington)
By the way, poor Russell Beland. He's listed more than anyone else. Think all of his are from one essay?; February 19, 2006 10:11 AM
SPBarga said...: My MOM just sent me that e-mail a few days ago, however, there were more strange and glorious analogies listed. A few of the ones I really liked were:

'Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.'

'She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.'

'He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.'; February 19, 2006 10:44 AM

SLIS Procrastination Blog