Mean Girls in the press

Hey folks, check out this article from the lastest issue of The Journal of Books and Wenches. Our exclusivity is famous!

First Year? Join Us for a Beef
Others not so welcome, some say

First-years at SLIS are engaging in an activity known as "Happy Hour" every Friday. But are they inviting their fellow SLISers of second year and beyond? The answer, it would appear, is no.

"Why would we invite them?" responded a first-year who wishes to remain anonymous. "We're the coolest year to ever go through SLIS. We're younger, hipper, and we are going to rock the library world!"

Some second-years suggest that the event remains exlusive to keep secret what the first-years are really doing -plotting to take over the world. "It's a front, man. I'm not kidding. They're plotting in there; they're plotting some dark stuff and you better watch out. They'll come for you next," said second-year Mel Pond.

Could there be a link to recent disappearances of SLIS faculty?

Second-year graduating student Ben Hogansen doesn't care what they're doing. "I just can't believe I'm not invited. What - they don't think I'm cool? I'm cool."

Second-year student Elsworth Rockefeller seconds this, but goes a step further. "Actually, I might be too cool for their 'Happy Hour,' so I really don't feel bad at all."

Our reporters asked SLIS professor Greg Downey, thought to have been replaced by a clone whose oratory style is remarkably like that of Professor Downey and whose only flaw is his partially formed sixth finger, what he thinks. "Looking at patterns of socialization among graduate students, you'll find - would you quit looking at my hand? That's a mole. It's just a mole."

While some second years are planning to storm the next 'Happy Hour' and demand to be included, others are content to quietly wait out the storm. "They'll invite us eventually," said second-year Molly Kliss, "just wait until kickball season next year. They'll be begging to hang out with us."

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